Shakespeare and the Internet

By Bud Koenemund

A bit of serious silliness in the name of my friend, teacher,
and Master sonneteer, Mr. William Shakespeare.

If ‘twere true I did actually say
But half the shite attributed to me
With Internet memes, the count of my plays
Would blossom from 38 to 50.
Although I invented some two thousand
Words and phrases – simply plucked from thin air –
And our language by my hand did expand,
I beg thee friends, cease, keep peace, and forbear
To disgrace my work with thy online faults;
Rather, praise the right author’s creation,
And spare my reputation these assaults,
Which in the soul engender frustration.
   I wish a plague upon those who would dare
   Disturb my genius with such prose impaired.

What Shall I Write of My Desire for Thee

For Amy Lynn Watkins

What shall I write of my desire for thee,
So that I would not cause offense to thy
State, virtuous as I hold it to be,
Nor mar my reputation in your eyes?
How might I explain, without terms vulgar,
The fire burning in my body and mind
Amid dreams – both waking and in slumber –
That keep you in this damn’d lust enshrined?
Though my soul will stand condemn'd for sin,
And I will spend eternity disgraced,
I beg thee, Muse, give me the words to win
Thy hand, and so grant me a mortal grace.
I make no secret of concupiscence,
But seek your love to reclaim innocence.