From Crush to Crushed (Part VI): One Lie

By Bud Koenemund

“I just want you to be happy.” I lied.
The first, and only, one I told her;
After ruin inevitably denied
Those flames I fought to kindle – smoldering
Embers never reaching incandescence.
It’s bullshit. I know it. She knows it, too.
Still, it’s what you offer – at pride’s expense –
When there’s nothing else to say; naught to do.
Yet, even in this deception lives truth;
Despite betrayal, I cannot wish pain
On a soul once adored, but seek to soothe
Their conscience, while my own heart is constrained.
   I can’t pretend as if I didn’t care;
   Obliterating the affection dared.

Stuck in the Middle With You

By Bud Koenemund

(Written: October 2020)

Every word I’ve written thee is true –
My passion sans deception. Be assured
This heart remains dedicated to you:
The affection pledged innocent and pure.
But, sometimes I feel lost; directionless;
Wanting guidance. Lacking thy confidence,
I’ll find myself in the same wilderness
Where, once upon a time, indifference
Starved this soul near death. Yet, Lady; I know
Your past and mine that way are kindred.
Though, in life, we have both paid heavy tolls,
I pray, together, love grows unimpeded.
   While insecurity conspires to
   Deceive, it cannot dim respect for you.

What's in a Name?

By Bud Koenemund

For "Her."

Thy name, which I worshiped ‘bove all others –
Goddess of my idolatry – a prayer
Once whispered in reverence, has smothered
Piety, like a fire denied air.
Beauty exalted; enskied by angel’s
Voices; celebrated in the Heavens;
That word, so pure and sacred, now doth quell
My life, leaving a faithful soul riven.
And, even as fragments struggle toward light,
Betrayal drags me deeper into Hell,
Unleashing horrors; such harrowing sights
None, save perhaps Alighieri, can tell.
   “Her” – my Dark Lady – will as muse endure,
   Though ‘gainst deception I remain inured.