Allocution

By Bud Koenemund

For "Her."

I have no choice now but to admit guilt;
The blame, by any measure, 'longs to me
Alone. I will trudge to the gallows built
Atop my shame and deliver that plea;
No remorse tempers this allocution;
Though, one excuse I'll give to mitigate
The crime: My heart was misled by passion –
Fooled into thinking you'd reciprocate.
Much like Will's green-eyed Moor, I have "loved not
Wisely but too well." And, that devotion
Blinded me to truth; leaving a mind fraught
With madness for seeking thy affection.
   On the charge of love I stand convicted;
   My penance, I fear, is self-inflicted.

Bad Dream

By Bud Koenemund

For "Her."

Turning toward me, a whisper escapes your
Lips: "I love you" lingers despite the roar
Of wind whipping through obsidian hair.
Your skin, like velvet, glows in sun-warmed air,
And I see my smile reflected in
The sunglasses obscuring your brown eyes.
I reach to touch the hand of my soul's twin,
Unaware this is but slumber's disguise;
Happiness that cannot survive waking –
A bitter dawn after this dream's sweet peak.
I grasp in vain at dying night, aching
To embrace once more the passion I seek.
   I find contentment only lost in sleep,
   For when roused, mem'ry haunts and madness creeps.

All the Words Unwritten

By Bud Koenemund

All the words unwritten – whirling about
Inside my head, like a discordant storm
Of prolixity – threaten to drown out
Thought, and resist my attempts to transform
A handful from chaos to harmony.
They rattle and clatter around my skull,
Banging together precariously;
Roaring like a hurricane without lull.
But, when a few words tumble into place,
Coalescing to form rhythm and rhyme,
I oft' abandon slumber; embracing
The whisper of my muse past midnight's chime.
   Though my songs suffer form's captivity,
   Such limits arouse creativity.

Thesaurize

By Bud Koenemund

Thesaurize: (verb) To think or believe a word means, or is synonymous with, something it does not or is not. Often used when referring to another person in a derogatory manner.

You were too fucking stupid to see you were getting what you want.

I was falling in love with you. – "Her."

I once believed love meant everything;

A yearning beyond real definition;

Passion built on devotion; cherishing

Another soul; becoming a bastion

'Gainst each defeat, and partner in the climb

Toward bliss. I would give all I am to feel

The momentary touch of such sublime

Emotion, offered with joy unconcealed.

But, you have schooled me in affection's new

Meaning: Indifference toward one who adores;

Evasion; leading sanity askew

When you speak of love, while in deed abhor.

   'Tis certain you're right; I'm a man 'twas blind;

   In consequence, my heart betrayed my mind.

Knowing

By Bud Koenemund

For "Her."

The worst thing about you leaving – again –
Is knowing in my soul you will come back.
Sure as the dark of night and April rain,
You'll return to heal yourself as you wrack
My sanity once more. I fear you'll wait
Until I've somehow patched together a
Heart you've crushed before. Alas, 'tis my fate
To be punished for the sin of love; flayed
Alive by your indifference; my will
Exiled to the wasteland of rejection,
And devotion exposed as a windmill
I charge heedless of my own destruction.
   Passion I held stronger than gravity
   Has yielded to painful lucidity.