Fire Cannot Feed Upon Itself

By Bud Koenemund

With apologies to Galway Kinnell

Fire cannot feed upon itself. Lacking
Fuel to sustain, it will suffocate;
Dying away – light dwindling toward black –
As flames, once furious, quickly abate.
To make it burn, I threw my whole self in;
Sacrificing pride; nourishing our spark;
Then realized I could never kindle
Passion matching mine; that knowledge a stark
Reminder of the wasteland devotion
Leaves behind – solitude seared in my soul;
Scorched by incendiary emotion,
While embers, neglected too oft’, grow cold.
   The love extinguished cannot be renewed;
   Yet, memory smolders with thoughts of you.

From Crush to Crushed (Part III): It Ends the Same Way

By Bud Koenemund

I’ve seen this episode before… many
Times. Inevitably, it ends the same way;
Bud fools himself into thinking any
Woman could give a fuck. A display
As pitiful as it is laughable;
Watching this clown blunder ‘gainst his own heart;
Enduring agony while damnable
Madness poisons a spirit torn apart.
Though he knows the risk invites solitude,
He’ll create passionate sonnets, and send
“Good morning, Beautiful” texts, as prelude
To a climax that leaves him unmended.
   While there is holiness in affection,
   Suffering oft’ becomes love’s conclusion.

Frankenstein

By Bud Koenemund

“I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine

and rage the likes of which you would not believe.”

– Mary Shelley

There is, too oft’, a war within my mind;

‘Twixt Good and Evil; the Dark Side and Light;

Intellect struggling to resist blind

Ignorance as shadows obscure the right.

Like poison unchecked, discontent infects

My soul, arousing inhumanity;

A monster existing disaffected

Toward empathy, risking insanity.

Why must I continue this conflict ‘gainst

Self, denied solace in another’s hand;

Some being like me to re-kindle sense,

Restore hope, and grant ease from life’s demands?

   Solitude only nourishes my rage,

   And bitterness grows as love dies away.

Love and Hate

For "Her."

I didn't know – in truth, how could I have? –
That you'd always hate me for loving you;
Damning me for the devotion I gave
In words that fade now in my solitude.
I offered everything to feed the fire
Of passion you kindled, then crushed to ash;
Desperate not to let it expire,
Like dying embers swept into the trash.
A day will come when I love you no more;
When I stop hiding from a harsh truth veiled
By the shadows in my mind, and restore
Sanity, accepting my prayers have failed.
"I love you" seems the strongest thing I say:
It always pushes you farther away…